Thoughts to keep a couple sane and loving
Through my years as a Couples Therapist I have often heard grateful couples say,
“I wish we could take you with us….just hearing your calm voice and feeling your solid presence helps so much!”
So here is my gift to all couples who face with courage, patience and humour the frequent setbacks that linking your life to another completely different human being brings. Here are little bite-size pieces of humour, calmness and wisdom that will orientate you back towards the relationship you really want. And for those of you with children (talk about different human beings!) may these pages give you that moment’s breathing space to step out of the creative chaos and find your feet again.
I hope you enjoy these resources!
How to be Successful in Relationships
Why are relationships so hard to do at times when it should be so natural? Let me give you a peek into my house…Continue reading
Going South or Going North?!
Why is it so much easier to snap and climb in our survival suit of defensiveness than it is to be thoughtful and relationally mature? This very morning Brett and I had a scratchy breakfast simply because I was trying to say something important to him that I was feeling anxious about and it felt like he wasn’t really listening (for goodness sake, we teach this listening stuff!!)… Continue reading
Your Relationship is Your Biggest Asset
Recently Brett and I had our 19th anniversary as a married couple and we were reflecting on the richness of our relationship and more specifically the warm, steady open-hearted climate that we enjoy. We have learned over the years to be joint Keepers of this climate, and indeed see it as our sacred space, and it has gradually dawned on us that taking moment-by-moment responsibility for that sacred space is one of our individual and joint spiritual practices.
Why, you might ask, is this such a big deal?… Continue reading
Who’s Afraid of Couples Therapy?!
‘There are few tougher clinical challenges than confronting the entrenched hostility, dashed dreams and raw pain of troubled couples.’
So starts the beginning of a webcast given by an assortment of top couples therapists. They are right – as anyone who works or has tried to work with couples will tell you!
Many good therapists have launched out into the first experience with a couple hopefully confident in their skills and experience of empathetic listening, validation and insights only to find that the volatility and intensity of the session could quickly engender feelings of powerlessness, confusion… and dare I say it, angry frustration!…Continue reading
The Space Between
Lately my explorations have led me unexpectedly into quantum physics and quantum biology yet let me hasten to add, not because I have ever seen myself as terribly interested in science… or rather the science I learnt in school and the science that seems to so often be trivialised in the media in sensationalist headlines…Continue reading